Journal Entry// May 22, 2009

Hey friends! It’s been a while. I think that a journal entry will help out, so here we go! I’ll be up and blogging again in no time =]

I didn’t understand Mark yesterday when he said I should ask for trust. I really didn’t have confidence in my salvation, or my savior. I’ve been thinking that what I’ve been doing is so horrible that I was going to lose my salvation. But it’s not! Well, it is bad, cuz it’s sin, but my salvation is intact. I am justified. He already did the rescuing. He’s already done the forgiving. It is done, it is finished. I am God’s. NOTHING can pluck me from his hand or separate me from his love. God promises that what he starts, he will finish. So I am not too far from God. I have not lost my salvation. Did I disobey? Yes. Did I screw up? Yes. But the one who has called me is faithful, even when I’m faithless.

I think I got a glimpse of what an abused person experiences. “Where do I go? I don’t have anyone to trust. The person I should and can trust, I don’t. I don’t have anyone. No one can help me. What am I going to do?” I wanted help so bad, but I didn’t know where to find it. I didn’t really want to tell anyone I was struggling. Didn’t want to look weak. That was pride.

Things I’m learning about myself:

*I don’t like change. I find something I like and I stick with it. I keep looking till I find something I like

*I don’t like being uncomfortable. I don’t like getting out of my comfort zone.

*I usually step up when I need to. Otherwise, I try to be a follower. I feel I’m a good follower, a good #2, right hand man.

Yeah. That’s where I’ve been for the past couple weeks. If you’re struggling right now, know that you are not too far from God. He is wanting to swoop in and rescue you! He’s waiting. Answer his call. He loves you a ton!

I look forward to blogging again friends! Be excited… there are going to be some changes around these parts… Yay!

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GAH

April 24, 2009 Leave a comment

Hey friends I’m still alive! school has been crazy hectic I’ll be back and blogging in no time =]… probably after I get back from haiti, the 12th =]

Blog ya then!

Categories: Uncategorized

Provision

God is good like that. What’s that you ask? Well, basically everything. But most specifically, for me at least, he’s been good in my finances.

Let’s be even more specific. I am a college student. I make just enough money each month to pay for food and rent. That’s about it. Recently, I’ve had a few more financial obligations fall under my belt, such as paying for my own gas now and paying the security deposit on my house next year. This past month, I didn’t work too much and didn’t make that much because of it. I didn’t make rent this month either. YAY!

So here I am, asking God, what the crap. Not in a negative sense, but more like, what in the world am I going to do, God? I don’t have the money. I’m in enough debt as it is with my student loan, I don’t want to go in more debt, what ‘s going to happen? So I ask, God, provide the way. What’s great is that God gave me a really solid peace throughout the whole thing. I’ve been super chill about it and not worrying about it, which has been GREAT. Not having to be anxious about something is so nice. Anyway, on wednesday I’m driving to work and trying to think of how I’m going to come up with the money. I call my Mom asking her if she had talked to my grandparents about them giving me the money, because I had asked her to ask them previously. Well, they said no. Nothing against them, because they had helped me BIG time for my mission trip, so no hard feelings there. My mom and I get talking and she mentions talking to the church I work at if they have a benevolence fund. Well, turns out they do! And better, after talking to the church, they said they would help me out!! It’s so awesome how God provided! A big thing that I learned was not being so prideful and asking those around you for help.

Here’s another cool thing. So remember how I was being scammed a while back? Well, those charges have been sitting on my account for a little while now. I disputed them through Citi and got a letter in the mail saying that if I acknowledge them as fraudulent, then Citi will close my account and give me a new one, removing the fraudulent charges. You know what’s cool? I owe $168. And what do you know, the fraudulent charges add up to $169. How awesome is that!! And I still have $50 in my checkings account! WOO

1 John 5:14-15

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

I know that God doesn’t desire for me to be in debt. And so I asked him. And what did he do? He got me out of debt =].

God’s taken care of me up until now, and I don’t see him stopping any time soon. Actually, never. So if you ever doubt that God isn’t or won’t take care of you, consider my testimony. Be encouraged. It may take a little while, but God is there and will never and HAS never left you. Love you guys. Be Blessed =]

Categories: Uncategorized

Updated – Random Thought //Windows and blinds

March 26, 2009 2 comments

Haha, this was never supposed to be published! I wrote down my thoughts real quick so that I wouldn’t forget them and hit publish instead of save as draft! woops! No better time than now though…

So why do we have windows, but keep the blinds closed? That doesn’t really make sense to me. We have a window into the world, this beautiful, beautiful world, but then shut it out, because it’s too “bright.” It’s not “energy efficient.” Now, I am as green as the next guy, maybe even more in certain regards, but who cares! Turn your ac off and open the windows! Let that beautiful sunlight in! Did you know that in the depression era, in the ghettos of New York and Chicago and others, people suffered from serious depression because they had no windows? No windows at all! We have them, yet we choose to block out what is behind it.

Think about it. You know you love it when you see a beautiful day outside. Why not invite it inside? For me, sunlight is such a beautiful light. It provides such beautiful contrast, brings out the richness of the colors in nature, all sorts of things. I love it when I wake up and walk into my kitchen and see the sun shining on my dining room table… I’ll take a picture sometime and show you guys. It’s beautiful.

What now? What sort of benefit do you get from reading this little rant of mine? Learn to Enjoy life! What’s the purpose in living if it sucks? Live in freedom. LIVE. For me, that includes opening the windows. It’s simple and elegant. Life. It can be awesome if you let it.

Categories: random thoughts

Random Thought //”Quit Daydreaming”

March 25, 2009 1 comment

neverending-story-jesusSo it’s been a while since my last posting… So dearly sorry. Lots of stuff been going on.

So here’s a random thought. I was watching The Neverending Story with my sister and niece over spring break. In the very beginning, the main character, Sebastian, is sitting at the dinner table eating breakfast with his dad. His dad was commenting on how his teachers were reporting that Sebastian day dreamed too much and didn’t pay attention. His dad proceeded to tell him to “quit daydreaming and face your problems.” How sad. That’s right, how sad. From personal experience, I feel that we don’t daydream enough. Whatever happened to imagining clouds were lions and that the birds were secretly dragons, but during the day had to hide so they wouldn’t be killed by the evil dragon hunters? Whatever happened to making animated flip books out of your vocabulary books, or doodling on napkins at McDonalds? I fear that creativity is something that is being killed in today’s society. Our schools are pushing more and more academics, critical thought, and not enough abstract thought.

I remember when I was a child, I was creative. I thought outside the box. I would see bear faces in the trees, and imagine that I was a wild space cadet, traveling all across the universe. Or I was a fighter pilot, saving my nation. Or I was a Knight in shining armor, saving my 4th grade crush from the evil bully. IMAGINATION. In our classes (and society) we are taught to write papers a certain way, to read books a certain way, pray to God a certain way, talk to our parents a certain way, do everything a certain way. It has to fit into a box. The beautiful thing about creativity is that it makes the box it fits in! You can’t make it conform to a set of rules, although guidelines definitely assist in the creative process, such as the rule of thirds or color harmonies. Creativity is being stifled.

So what do you leave here with? What do you do or think or say? Let’s all protest at the capitol? No. Not necessarily. What you can do is this: grab a piece of scratch paper and draw. Nothing in particular. Just put your pen on paper and let it do the rest. Or, grab a spoon and tap your desk. You can tap it to a static beat, tap, tap, tap, tap. Go from there and make it a little more different, tap, tap tap, tap, tap tap. Or, grab a journal (or computer) and write. Doesn’t matter what, just write. Write a story, a poem, a haiku. Something. Just write.

BE CREATIVE! Think outside the box! Go outside and enjoy the earth that God has made. He’s the ultimate creator. Be inspired =] He kind of knew what he was doing… Haha

(image from http://distractionade.blogspot.com/2009/02/so-think-back-long-time-ago-to-that.html)

Everything’s amazing, nobody’s happy

March 18, 2009 1 comment

This is so true. We are all complainers. Puts everything in an interesting light =p

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Categories: Uncategorized

Excerpts from “The Problem with the Pattern”

March 18, 2009 1 comment

“…Nouwen objects. ‘I am deeply convinced,’ he writes, ‘that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self. That is the way Jesus came to reveal God’s love.'”

“What if church leaders were honest about what they have to offer, were content to be irrelevant, and were expectant that God’s power would be made perfect in our weakness?”

“As Nouwen says, ‘The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending on the cross … I am speaking of a leadership in which power is constantly abandoned in favor of love.'”

“We know from the Book of Acts that the early Church was distinct from the other cultural institutions of its day. Its faith, love, and practices were unique, strange, and somewhat mysterious to the first-century world, and yet it flourished. The early Church was the exact opposite of the Roman Empire, and yet it flourished. Christianity wasn’t popular, it was persecuted, and yet it flourished.”

“In Acts 2, Luke notes that the Lord was adding to the numbers of early Christians daily. It seems fitting that in the absence of the pattern and its relevance, popularity, and power, God gets the credit for the growth of the early Church.”

All these quotes come from a post by the editor of one of my favorite magazines, Collide. His name is Scott McClellan. How humbling! I don’t even know what to say… That may be best. Instead of rambling, I’ll let my words be few, ha.

Soak it in. Read the article. Discuss in the comments! Look forward to hearing what you have to say!